One of my greatest fears following my 17 year marriage was that I didn’t become bitter! I knew I had been wronged, mishandled, lied too and cheated on but I was determined not to become a bitter divorced woman. It took quite some time before I would open up and allow myself to be courted or pursued. The first guy I talked too was a few years older, great guy, great person, honest, thoughtful but he was so set in his routine there was no room for growth or new experiences. That was a huge turn off for me. The next guy was simply a womanizing ass hole to put it nicely. He was all over the place but I could tell by his “sweet nothings” in my ear that they were just that “NOTHING”! LOL Then there was the guy that was able to actually get to my core and capture my heart on the REAL. We talked for hours every day, texts, calls, poems, pictures etc. But even with all those things that most women would love to receive, it became very clear early for me that he had no real intentions with me. No future plans or desires to have me as an asset in his life. That was later confirmed when I received a picture of him with his WIFE on their wedding day. Crushed doesn’t begin to describe the feeling but this post won’t be about that at all. What I realized in the years following that incident is that I wasn’t guarding my heart!
Women are creatures who desire to be loved, adored, admired, cared for and protected. That’s simply how God created us. All women don’t have those exact desires but all of us have a trace of some in our DNA. The problem is that MEN are fully aware of it and sometimes will manipulate the situation to best suit their needs. Women can and should fall in love but she needs to be mindful of where that love is taking her.
The first step in understanding how to guard her heart a woman has to know that she has every right to protect her heart from any condition, disease, tactics or schemes that do not bring her joy! It’s simple- she may be single, married or simply satisfied being alone, but she never has to subject herself to anything that will ultimately make her bitter. She has the right to determine whom she will love and let in to her precious vessel.
Secondly guarding her heart means not being easily fooled to give it away. Men know how to say the kindest things, give the sexiest smiles and undress us with their eyes, however, she can’t be so weak that her heart leaps every time she hears a kind word, see some teeth or feel them peering. The serpent in the garden with Eve was appealing to the eyes, but he was attempting to pull her heart-strings away from God. Some men, not all, are serpents pulling on our heart strings. Don’t let them. She has to recognized when she is being complimented for a response versus pursued for the purpose of getting to know her.
Third, she has to guard against people trying to make her believe she needs to change! Granted all of us can use some work and improvement, but women have to be careful allowing other people to change who we are. Especially when such changes are not in her best interest. If she is not careful she’ll be influenced to take on someone else’s beliefs, value systems and platforms and dismiss or walk away from her own. Everyone can have an opinion but that doesn’t mean their opinion of her has validity. God created man/woman in his likeness and if the changes don’t move her closer to him I’m certain it’s not from him!
Finally, she has to guard against her past. Too many women are in relationships with someone in their past who no longer (or never) loved them. She is holding on to a dream, fantasy or promise that is no closer to fruition then she is at becoming the first Female President of the Unite States yet she waits. She shouldn’t waste her life and time waiting on a relationship with someone who doesn’t want the same from her. A ghost doesn’t love you back, she has to let those past relationships die if they are dead and open herself up for the future to find her.
At the end of the day everything about a woman flows from the condition of her heart. It will determine how she loves, responds, acts, receives and accepts things presented to her. She can’t afford for it to be mishandled or broken and left damaged and destroyed.
Proverbs 4:23 NIV
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”